in the midst of this torrid, rekindled affair with life i’m getting into, i remember to breathe.
this breath brings certainty for me, but along with my own stretching smile, there is a slight tinge of sadness.
the sadness, though not for me, momentarily cuts deep into my soul. for that brief second i feel the unaccepted lover and the weary soul in search of rest.
for a second, in my bones, i know the sorrow of a decades-old creature who let the bitterness take over and build a new world. the only thing left is the memory of dreams and a few days.
a tear comes to my eye for a love that was never. an arrangement circumstantial and poised–empty.
for a child that shouldn’t have been. for people who should have stopped. for the man who did stop, and it ended.
for the train that failed and the ocean that was hungry.
i let the hurt and fear and anger get close, and i look it in the eyes. but i don’t invite it in to share with me anymore.
“i’m too strong now,” i say. “oh, how you’ve lost your way.”
and i leave it behind. and someone, somewhere feels their first bit of relief.
instead of not, they do. instead of lying, they tell the truth. instead of everything, it’s nothing.
the difference is made, and the way is found. then there’s love again.